10 phrases that do not talk to children
Raising a child - is not easy. Sometimes it is hard to refrain from irritation, seeing as the son or daughter is doing something wrong, how you want. However, throwing caustic phrases in a defenseless child is not worth it. Psychologists distinguish 10 phrases that can cause children to moral injury.
1. "You do not know!" (You can not, you do not understand, and so on). Do not program the child to failure in advance. Any efforts appreciated. If you see that does not work, tell me quietly: "Can I show you my way ... (to tie shoelaces, to wipe off the table, etc.)?".
2. "With whom are you so slow ?!". Avoid sudden changes in estimates of character and physique of the child in order to subsequently develop an inferiority complex.
3. "Come stop crying!". Barring tears, you encourage the child to accumulate negative emotions that can lead to neurosis and hysteria. Dismissive tone of the phrase shows your child's indifference to the problem. It is better to calmly figure out the cause of the child's tears and try to help.
4. "Go do something useful." Waving from the child that phrase, you come across it on the idea that all of his actions earlier - aimless and not particularly important. If so want to plant a daze "useful" habits, learning often spend time together and show by example what is good and what is bad.
5. "Are you going to behave, give you out to my uncle (aunt, an orphanage, etc.)." More than anything, children are afraid that they will throw. Do not blackmail the child of his own fears. Explains in detail the rules of behavior in a given situation.
6. "Are you smarter than me ?!" ( "Do not talk nonsense!", Etc.). Very often the child's attempt to challenge anything terminate parental anger: "How so, chicken eggs still will teach!". By imposing its dictatorship, you deprive a child of the ability to make independent decisions in the future. Learn to listen and agree with the views of children.
7. "From you nothing but trouble!" ( "Because of you ..." "If not for you ..." and others.). It's like that aloud to regret the fact that a child born into the world in general. The children are always difficult, but desperate situations do not happen. Do not shift own impotence in the education of children on the fragile shoulders.
8. "That Vanya (Lena), then ...". Keep poking the child in someone else's success, you are despised by his own achievements. Why did your son or daughter to be like someone else? Grow a person, not an imitator. There are also reverse the phrase: "You're the best!", Which also deprives the child's ability to assess its ability to adequately.
9. "You got me to the grave dovedesh!". This phrase you nurture a child's constant feeling of guilt for what he is causing you so much suffering. A mother's love should not be selective: today like there is no tomorrow. Love child of any, even if it broke your favorite vase or again received a 2 in math.
10. "Tell her abnormal father (mother) ...". The quarrels or divorce of parents sometimes use children as a means of blackmail, or as an ally in the struggle. Hence the phrase: "Whom do you love more?" "Well, go to your dad!", Etc. Remember that children need both parents, and your family squabbles on the child not to be recognized..