Big Family: pros and cons
This magical event as the birth of a child, sometimes there are family disputes and problems. Especially if we are talking about the appearance of a third child. In this case, the spouses must learn to listen to each other and talk openly about your concerns and desires.
Behind the facade of a happy family
How often see a rosy picture - mother, father and three children. Thus, in the view of many looks real happy family. But behind the glossy facade of a beautiful and simple life hiding all the same problems that exist in all families. However, these problems are multiplied only by three.
When the family raises the issue of the third child (if not to take into account the fact already happened)? When the two older has grown up and parents age crossed the mark of 35.
On the one hand, parents have more free time, you can relax from childhood diseases, parents' meetings and games in the mother's daughter. On the other - we want to return the unique smell of the baby and feeling of infinite happiness. Before grandchildren is far and there is nothing to fill the break, when you get used to live for children and for the children.
One on one
If the parents have the strength, health and financial stability, and most importantly, a mutual desire, why not? The main thing that the child does not become a replacement of the feeling that life is running out through your fingers. Many couples after adult children begin to live independently, find that their family life is a failure. They have learned to live with the children and for the children, but to live for each other, to live in partnership, not in love.
Children long time replaced love relationship sense of duty. And in 15-20 years, the pair is facing the worst problem - to live together. The third child is seen as an excellent solution to this problem.
The nuances of a new life
The birth of a third child can become not only an imaginary salvation of marriage, but also a serious challenge for him. For some, the baby opens up new opportunities and gives strength, while others barely cope with the new responsibilities. And most importantly, can suffer the older children being given less time.
Even before the birth of the child should think about his new life, although, of course, not be able to provide. But the third child should not be a replacement of the older, and more than that, they should not be imposed on the obligation to care for the baby. Involve them as possible, but given the job on forces. In other protests, especially among adolescents, can not be avoided.
You have to share the love for three. That divide, rather than to decide to whom it will get better, and who can wait. And if the eldest son wants your attention now, do not look for excuses to postpone the conversation (not yet asleep, Jr., until he eats and so on.). Your focus should be the same for everyone, but as you ureguliruete, to think together with her husband.
A third child can become the center of family cohesion, the link between the parents and older children. But it is possible, if the parents do not allocate their attention and attitude of younger or older, and each child can see a unique personality.
The biggest problem in a large family is a material side. Beforehand find out what grants and incentives are put many children in your area. You can count on the monthly allowance, free travel on public transport, subsidies for utilities and kindergarten.
The social security agencies may offer you gifts for the holidays, free tickets for children's activities, preferential permits in camps and holiday homes. Most museums large families offer discounted tickets or even allowed for free. Large families are exempt from vehicle tax, which means that you can buy a powerful family car and leave it free of charge at municipal parking lots, submitting a request to the traffic police of the city.