How To Raise A Positive Child? | Children




How to raise a positive child?

What is it - the positive thinking in the education of children? How to implement it in practice? Figuratively speaking, the definition of positive thinking as follows: "Do not talk about what you do not want, but about what you want."

How to raise a positive child? For example, you have come to the bookstore for a new book favorite writer. It is unlikely that you will become a seller to list the names of all the books that you do not need, or through all these books on the shelves. Most likely, you call (or will find themselves on the shelf) is the book you need. So why are we formulating (or trying to articulate) any goal in life, in 90% of cases we build it on the principle of "what I do not want to." Instead of "I want to be slim and beautiful," we say "do not want to be fat." And the worst thing - inspire this same negative pattern of behavior to their children as a vital installation. Imagine you decide to spend with the child a serious conversation about the meaning of life (or as an option - a serious attitude towards life). Most likely, it will be a monologue, like, "My dear child! I done a lot of mistakes, doing what she absolutely wanted my whole life. And vice versa - is not doing so, he wanted the most. I do not want you to repeat my mistakes, so believe my bitter experience, and remember: never do ... (more a list of a hundred pages), nor bear the case with such people ... (another list), do not communicate with. .. (a list of specific individuals), and hundreds of similar "no". And in the rest of the time that he hears from you more often? Correct: "do not touch", "do not go", "do not go", "do not play" ... Do not be surprised then, if 90% of your "no" will be for your child's guide to action: the forbidden fruit is sweet and ... on the contrary - with all of your superhuman efforts to grind 10% "! have to" prove what is not done ever. And not because your child from harm is doing everything to spite you. Just as it is paradoxical, but in an attempt to protect her child from mistakes, you program it to the opposite result. This is the property of our psyche (and especially the psyche of the child) when we need something forbidden, something we often completely instinctively want to violate this prohibition. Thus your child just reflexively throws particle "no", and as a result all his attention was focused on the fact that you give him so hard prohibited. Even an adult is difficult "not to think about the white monkey" - especially if the picture with this monkey is looming in front of him a hundred times a day. So, you ask - did not prohibit? Why, ban, of course. It can happen that on its ability to implicitly perform your ban may depend on his life. But the main motivation for the life of the child must be the mood for a positive result, and not a way to "escape" from the inevitable mistakes and failures. Education benefits only when the acquisition of knowledge or the most life skills feel and based on positive emotions, and is configured to receive a positive result. And the best way to teach a child - it's a game. Suggest as your child play in a new, exciting game, "I want to ..." and learned to turn the boldest dream into a beautiful reality.