How to teach a child to stand up for themselves
Some parents are dissatisfied with the fact that their child is too aggressive, others - peaceful and excessive kindness. Very often you can hear from the popes and such complaints: growing prim young lady some, does not know how to fight back, pick up the selected toy, and life - so cruel, survival of the fittest, it is doomed to weak. But it is the parents' opinion. How to teach your child to behave in a critical situation and fend for themselves? Note that for the beginning it is equally important to get the parents to adequately assess the specific situation and the reaction of his child.
Instruction how to teach a child to stand up for themselves
Are you sure that is not exaggerating the problem? It is important to distinguish between two things: how the child relates to this situation, and how to react to it, you, the parents. Ask yourself the state of affairs in reality just as dramatic in terms of your son or daughter? Is it true that he was humiliated, insulted, harassed? Or this situation remind you of something from your own childhood, that once you have experienced, some of your long-standing resentment, and you involuntarily shifted their view of life on their child?
Do not plant your child complexes. This is a direct consequence of that, what was said above. Considering that he feels humiliated, parents are often programmed in children inferiority complexes. Adult attention is not emphasized at some of injustice, the kid would not react well. Teased, pushed, we did not take the game ... Anything can happen during a children's communication. Who is not allowed to play, and after thirty minutes will call themselves. You pushed, and after a few minutes you ottolknёsh someone ... As a child, experienced offense easily and quickly forgotten.
Listen to what you say to the child, what kind of words, images you use. We often do, in their own words "programmable" life offspring. We say, "life is cruel, and it must be tough to fight their way." And the child begins to feel surrounded by enemies. The world is huge, and the child in it is small, so it can not fight with the world, and therefore does not feel able to win, it does not feel secure. Hence the fears in some children, others - aggressive behavior, the source of which is still the same fear of the world. Remember that your child is important to believe that the world is benevolent to him for the full harmonious development. Of course, it can meet the evil, but the good must win.
Do not call the child "weak" (even in thought). This is typical of some parents, mostly fathers. The children are closed, go to, because they can not cope with the uncertainty in their own abilities, and even fear of incurring the displeasure of mom or dad. And cease to tell parents about their experiences, feelings. But the problems begin to grow like a snowball that will further alienate the child from the world.
The kid is not able to defend themselves, so protect it, but not to fanaticism. Do not turn into those who are for any reason scandals in the yard, in kindergarten, in school ... But leave the child without protection, and even then blame his weakness - this is the worst solution. Over time, he learns, he will accumulate the strength to resist the injustice and aggression, while the adults have to help him to understand what is happening. It is very important to consider the age of the child.
It is necessary to bring the little man of the traumatic situation. If your child is constantly being bullied, talk with teachers or teachers. If necessary, move it to another institution. But only as a last resort, "run" from kindergarten to kindergarten or school to school just as detrimental as "hush up" the problem.
Observe your child: Do not provoke aggression he? You spoke with educators or teachers have replaced children's institution or a school, and the situation remained. Perhaps it is not only those around your daughter or son. Most likely, your child itself provokes such an attitude to him. And then complain that it hurt. In this case, you need to learn not to give the date, and to communicate with children, to be open and friendly.