How to tell your child about the death of his father
Educating children the right attitude to life and death issues is an important responsibility of parents. It is necessary to consider how to inform the child that loved one is gone. As a kid I accept the news that my father died my mother died, or, depending on how well you tell him about the death. Heavy responsibilities borne by the person who undertakes to notify the kid of the sad event.
Instruction how to tell a child about his father's death
It is necessary to tell the child immediately on the death of a loved one, no matter how hurt you at the moment. Late news can give birth to him disbelief, anger and resentment at close.
Choose a quiet, secluded place and make sure that that was enough time for a conversation.
Talking about death is to the closest kid person whom he trusts and with whom to share the grief surging. The more he will support him, the easier it will take adaptation to new conditions of life (without mom or dad).
During the call, touch the child. Take his hand, hug, put on his knees. Body contact will allow him to feel secure, cushion the blow, to help recover from the shock.
Muster the forces and say the word "dead", "burial", "death". Especially small children, when they heard that, "Dad fell asleep forever" may subsequently refuse to sleep. Tell the truth. If the deceased was ill and the child knew about it, talk about it. If there was an accident, tell us about the misfortune, from the moment he left him. React to his words and feelings, watch his reaction. As far as possible, be sensitive to this point. Forbid him not to show their emotions. Do not lived through a sense of grief - the basis for psychosomatic diseases in the future.
Perhaps the baby starts to ask questions about what will happen to the family after the funeral of a man. Tell us what it does not hurt, not cold, not need food, air and light. Because his body was "broken" and "fix" it is impossible. But at the same time, you have to explain that most people recover, to cope with injury and live long.
Tell us about what happens to the soul of man, on the basis of religious beliefs, accepted in your family. If you are unsure, then ask for help to the priest, who will help you to choose the right words.
Give the child time during the mournful preparations. If he is quiet and does not hurt, it does not mean that he is not in need of attention and understand what is going right. Find out in what he mood, sit next to him and find out what he wanted. Do not blame him if he wants to play. But I refuse to play with him, explaining that you are upset.
Save the baby daily routine. And if he will not mind, ask him to provide all possible assistance, for example, in the table setting. Ordinary things can even soothe the grieving adults.
It is believed that the child can participate in the farewell to the deceased and to make sense of the funeral to 2.5 years. Do not force him to attend the burial, if he does not want to do it, or shame for it. Tell him what is going to happen: the Pope put in the coffin was lowered into the pit, zasyplyut ground. At this place the monument will be placed in the spring, the native may visit him, bringing flowers.
Give the baby to say goodbye to the deceased, tell him how to do it. And do not reproach him if he can not touch until late.
During the funeral, with the child constantly has to be the person who will be with him and will support him, comfort him. And there may be such that it will lose interest in the events, he wants to play - this is normal. In any case, this will be the person who will be able to move with the child, and not wait for the end of the ritual.
Do not hesitate to cry with the children and show their feelings: you are sad and you are on it will be very bored. But try to do without hysterics, otherwise children may be frightened.
Later recalled the dead man. Talk about a funny incident that happened to him and the dead, as laughter transforms bad luck into a bright sadness. This will help to realize the incident again and take it. To the child has not acquired a sense of fear that someone from the family or he will die, not calm him lie, and tell me honestly that people will sooner or later die all. But you're going to die very old, and try not to leave it odnogo.Ne use the image of the deceased for the formation of the baby of the desired behavior, such as: "Do not roar, Dad taught you to be a man, and that he would not like it."