Secrets of good relations with children
Here are some secrets to good relations with children.
No need to wake the child, he may feel a sense of hostility toward his mother, who always shakes it, pulling the blanket. It may advance to flinch when she enters the room: "Get up, be late". It is far better to teach him to use the alarm clock. It is better to buy an alarm clock and, presenting it as something to beat the situation: "This Service will be only yours, it will help you wake up on time, and always keep up".
If a child gets up with difficulty, do not tease him "sluggard"Not enter into a dispute over "last minutes and". You can solve the problem in a different way: to put the arrow on five minutes earlier: "Yes, I understand why you do not want to get up today. Lie down for another five minutes".
These words create an atmosphere of warmth and kindness, as opposed to the cries.
You can turn on the radio louder. When a child is in the morning in a hurry, it often makes it all even more slowly. It's his natural reaction, his powerful weapon in the struggle with the daily that he is not satisfied.
No need to rush once again, it is better to tell the exact time and specify when it should finish what does: " After 10 minutes, you have to go to school". "For 7 hours, and 30 minutes later we sit down at the table".
Going to school
If the child forgot to put in the bag tutorial, breakfast, glasses; better to reach them in silence than to indulge in a tense argument about his forgetfulness and irresponsibility.
"Here are your glasses", - better than "Did I live to see the time when you learn to put himself points".
Do not scold or lecture in front of the school. In parting, better to say: "Let everything be good today"than "Look, be good, do not play". The child is more pleasant to hear confidential phrase: "See you at two o'clock"than "After high school, never shlyaysya, once home".
Returning from school
Do not ask questions to which children give the usual answers.
- How are things at school? - Fine. - What do today? - Nothing. What did you get? Etc.
Think of yourself as often irritated the issue, especially when estimates do not meet the expectations of the parents ("they need my assessment, and I do not"). Observe the child, what emotions "written" on his face. ("The day was hard? You probably could hardly wait for the end. Are you glad you came home?").
"Dad came". Let rest, read newspapers, do not bring down upon it all the complaints and requests. Suppose that when the evening, at dinner, the whole family to gather, to talk to, but the food is better for the good, heart to heart. It brings the family.
It's time to sleep
Preschoolers and younger students better put to bed by his parents (mother and father). If bedtime confided to talk to him, listen carefully, calm fears, to show that you understand the child, then he will learn to reveal the soul and free from fear, anxiety, calmly asleep.
Do not get into an argument, if the child says that he forgot to wash and drink.
A few short rules
- Show your child that he is loved for what he is, not his accomplishments.
- Do not ever (even in the hearts of) tell the child that it is worse than others.
- It honestly as possible and patiently answer any questions the child.
- Try to find time each day to be alone with your child.
- Teach your child to associate freely and naturally communicate not only with their peers, but also with adults.
- Do not hesitate to underline that you are proud of them.
- Be honest in assessing their feelings to the child.
- Always tell the child the truth, even when it is not profitable to you.
- Evaluate actions only, and not the child.
- Do not succeed by force. Forcing has worst-case scenario of moral education. Coercion in the family creates an atmosphere of destruction of the child's personality.
- Accept the child's right to error.
- Think about the children's bank of happy memories.
- The child refers to himself as adults belong to him.
- And in general, at least sometimes put themselves in the place of her child, and then it will be clear how to deal with it.