Home College

It’s no fun saying goodbye to the freedom and friends that come with college, but being home isn’t all that bad. Check out this list of perks that come with going home for the summer.

1. Seeing how much your parents have grown: So much changes over a year! If your mom was 5-foot-3 back in September, don’t be surprised if she’s topped 6 feet by June.

2. Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back In Town” plays wherever you go: As soon as you return to your hometown after a year of being away at college, “The Boys Are Back In Town” by Thin Lizzy starts playing on a continuous loop from an unknown source. No matter where you go, that song follows you around and everyone cheers.

3. Your home mom will do your laundry now instead of your college mom: Sure, you’ll miss your college mom and how she was so good at folding your undershirts, but there’s nothing like getting spoiled by your home mom when she grabs the laundry basket from your room to put in a load!

4. Experiencing a whole new crop of employees at Five Guys: You used to recognize everyone who worked there, but now different people work there.

5. Getting a recap of all the sex your parents had: When you left for college, your parents had the house to themselves, and so they had a lot of sex. Now that you’re back, your parents can finally sit you down and tell you about all the sex they had in extensive detail and with wild enthusiasm.

6. The garbage man has new seashells to show you: Since you’ve been away, the garbage man has been finding all manner of interesting shells in people’s trash bins, and he’s been dying to share them with you. When you get home from college, he can finally unveil his awesome shell haul.

7. It’s Thanksgiving: Whenever you’re home from college, that means it’s Thanksgiving, so get ready to stuff yourself full of turkey, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes. Awesome!

• real world